This guest post comes to you from the pen of Tamsin Oxford, staff writer on PlayPennies.com , a UK website for pennywise parents.

There is nothing quite as terrifying as the prospect of going shopping over the weekend in search of school supplies. The endless queues, the crowds of harried shoppers, the whining of hungry and tired tots, and so the list goes on. If you haven’t already, it’s time to stop, stay at home, and do it all online. You may have to pay for delivery but that’s already cheaper than bus fare/parking/ petrol.

The thing is, when you first open up the internet using your favourite search engine, it’s difficult to know where to start. Do you visit your usual retail haunts and see what they have on offer, or do you trawl through acres of pages in search of what you need?

This is where the hard work of other people makes your life easier. There are quite a few sites that list all the latest bargains on their sites. You only need to amble onto the landing page, search for the items you need, and see what special offers come up. It’s brilliant way to save money by taking advantage of special offers, sales and bundled deals.

When it comes to school supplies, there are so many exciting offers on at the moment you’re going to be hard pressed to choose which ones you prefer. I advise having a shopping list at the ready so you don’t forget the essentials, and don’t buy too much. It’s one thing to have a fantastic deal but often we can get so swept up in the excitement that we buy too much or buy things we don’t need. And that just kills any savings you could have made.

Old hands at the school shopping insanity will know which brands of school clothes are the most robust. If you are new to the business, you may have to brave the shops just one last time so you can try out the fit on your kids and check the quality first hand. Once that’s done you can get exactly what you want online.

The special offers often come from many of the lesser known online stores, but they can be truly impressive – like 100 pens for £1.29 including free delivery. You won’t be needing to stock up on those for at least a year. The thing is, finding deals like these demands a measure of patience. Shopping online is far more convenient (and you can drink a nice cup of tea while you’re doing it) but it can take a very long time if you are determined to find the very best bargains.

It takes me at least four to five hours to complete my online shopping for school goodies but I have saved so much money. I sorted out my daughter’s entire school wardrobe and essentials for less than £40 this year. And that includes shoes!

Hey, sod the tea, get a glass of wine and do the online shop with your feet up and your kids quietly asleep in bed.

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For this weeks Freebie Friday we have teamed up with Nelsons, the UK’s leading manufacturer of natural healthcare products, to give away 10 of their NEW Bach Emotional Eating Kits.

The Bach Emotional Eating Kit is a set of three 10ml flower essences to give a helping hand with diet and healthy living regimes. It is the first product available in the UK to help with emotional eating. You can create your own individual combination and adapt it to suit your changing moods. The essences are alcohol and additive free and suitable for the whole family.

The Bach™ Original Flower Essences in Bach Emotional Eating Kit are made using natural flower essences which originate from the Bach Centre and are produced according to Dr Bach’s traditional methods, which date back over 75 years

Bach Emotional Eating Kit includes the essences:

* Crab Apple – When you feel unclean or dislike something about yourself, Crab Apple can help you accept yourself and your imperfections. Self acceptance means you will be less likely to rely on food to make you feel good.

* Cherry Plum – When you fear you might lose control of your diet, Cherry Plum can help you to think and act rationally.

* Chestnut Bud – When you find yourself repeating the same dieting mistakes, Chestnut Bud can help you gain knowledge from your experience. This means you are less likely to fall into your old bad habits, for example reaching for food when things get tough.

Sandy Newbigging, Mind Detox expert and author of Life-Changing Weight Loss says: ‘To avoid having to deal with emotions such as boredom, grief, loneliness and guilt it is common for people to keep themselves busy by numbing the feelings with food.”  However Sandy believes the new kit can help people take control of their emotional eating: ‘The Bach Emotional Eating Kit can give a helping hand with the various negative feelings and emotions that may be affecting your eating habits and help you make positive changes to your lifestyle’

HOW TO WIN

To be in with a chance of winning 1 of 10 kits just leave a comment after this post telling us when you are most likely to comfort eat and what your favourite comfort food is.

10 names will be chosen at random and the winners will be notified directly by email.

You can also sign up for the Bach emotional eating text tips by simply texting BACH to 81400. All you pay is your standard network text rate for the initial text and they will send your 7 tips FREE to your mobile, one each day for a week. You will also receive an exclusive £1 off Bach Emotional Eating Kit discount code for use online at Boots.com. Terms and conditions can be found at www.bachremedies.co.uk.

Bach Emotional Eating Kit costs £9.95 and is available from Boots, Holland and Barrett and all good independent healthfood and pharmacy stores. For more information, visit www.bachremedies.co.uk.

Popularity: 21% [?]

Recently in The Times the weekend section was titled “Who needs Nintendo? How to have an Enid Blyton summer” and was full of some great articles by people like Dr. Tanya Byron and Chris Packham about putting the fun and freedom back into children’s outdoors experience and the value of unsupervised and unstructured play where imaginations as well as bodies could run free.

As well as some interesting discussion in our household it also made me think about what I did as a child and what I am prepared to let my own children do. In many ways it is not a fair comparison as I grew up in a very different environment than my children are and many things have changed in the last 30 years. There has been a growing trend, which can reach obsession like proportions, of entertaining children and filling their days with every conceivable activity. There is also a higher perceived risk in local communities and, due to technological advances (in particular gaming aimed at children), children are leading a less active and more virtual existence.

It makes me sad that many children are not allowed to be children, to have fun and explore their environments. I think that risk taking and being able to recognise danger are important lessons for children to learn and will better prepare them for life.  We seem to have become obsessed with wrapping our children up in cotton wool for fear of injury – either physical or psychological – and even getting wet or dirty. There is also the awful ‘blame’ culture which seems to have taken over as well.

There will always be differing opinions about what children should and shouldn’t be doing, added to by the “When I was a boy…..” brigade and the ‘experts’ who like to make clinical or unrealistic suggestions and judge. I think that parenting has become increasingly harder. Many families live without the support of an extended family close by; many families have both parents working. There is stronger media and materialistic pressure then there ever have been, as well as the community in which we live being nothing like it was when we were younger.

As a parent I feel really strongly that one of my responsibilities is to bring up children who are able to identify potential risks – through experience and trial and error – and who have learnt to be responsible for their actions and the real meaning of consequences. I want them to be independent, I want them to experience the thrill of being allowed out alone, and also to learn the self-control of when to say no and walk away. They won’t always get it right, and it will be hard when they do get it wrong.  I don’t want my son to fall out of a tree and injure himself, but more important than that, I don’t want him to have a childhood without climbing trees.

What do you think? What do you let your children do and not do? What age is a good age to let them out alone? Will your children have a very different childhood to your own?

Popularity: 11% [?]

The summer holidays are finally here which is great for the kids… but what about the parents? Mums and dads all over the country will be trying to concoct a host of ideas of how to keep the kids entertained for six weeks. Many will also be trying to come up with ideas of how to fund the summer- as keeping the kids active and engaged can be an expensive task. A fun day out need not cost an arm and a leg, which is why we’ve put this guide together to give you a little help with keeping the little ones busy…

Use Money Off Vouchers

If you have older kids, no doubt they’ll be asking to visit one of the UK’s most popular theme parks/ wildlife centres. Admission costs to these kinds of places are notorious for being on the expensive side- but this doesn’t have to be the case. Before you plan a day out have a look online and see if there are any money off vouchers for the main attractions. For example, there are Alton Towers vouchers which entitle you to 2 for 1 on admission if you take the voucher with you and present it at the gates. You can also get 3 for 2 on wristbands for Blackpool Pleasure Beach if you book online in advance. This will help keep costs down and will give you some spare cash to spend on packed lunches, petrol or travel.

Sign Up to a Sporting Scheme

Many companies put on free sporting academies for the youngsters to keep them fit over summer and most are free to enrol on. Do a little research into what’s available in your area. Whether your child is a keen footballer, a ballerina, a wrestler or a golfer- there will be sure to be a scheme in place which will cater to your children’s hobbies. It’s also worth popping down to your local youth centre and see what activities they have on offer- not only will it get the kids out of the house but it’s also an opportunity for them to make new friends.

Host a Crafts/Art Day

Keep their minds active. Organise a crafts day and let their creative energy run free! You can buy supplies quite cheaply, such as water colours, paper, crayons, charcoal etc which will keep the little ones busy for hours. Encourage them to make Birthday cards and presents for anyone who’s Birthday is coming up, or ask them to paint a picture for their grandparents. Having a project will keep them focused- however remember to ‘proof’ your house before hand- don’t want your beige couch or cream wallpaper getting ruined!

Look for Free Days Out

Even though most days out will require you to spend some money, there are some activities you can do for free. If you live close to a big city there will be sure to be some museums, art galleries or foreign markets you can explore- which are not only fun but educational. If you live in a more rural area then why not head out to the woods? There is bound to be a nature trail nearby where the little ones can forage for unusual creepy crawlies and get back to nature. If you live by the coast, taking the kids to the beach for the day can be extremely cheap and the kids will love it. There will obviously be some minor costs including transport and lunch, but this can be tackled fairly easily. Instead of paying for parking, take the bus- this should save on petrol as well as parking. Also, you can take a packed lunch with you instead of forking out for lunches in expensive cafés or restaurants.

Transform Your Garden

Dig out any old paddling pools, outdoor toys, balls, and games you have and let the kids loose in the back garden. This will obviously depend on the great British weather, but the best part about it is you can be spontaneous as it won’t cost you a penny. This gives you the opportunity to get comfy in a deck chair while the kids have fun in the garden. You could even suggest hosting these days for friend’s children and in return they throw one and invite your children.

A Summer Days Out article, written by Rachael Miller of moneysupermarket.com

Popularity: 17% [?]

When you become a parent your relationship with sleep changes for ever. Add to the mix the added stress of running a business around a family, and it can be all too easy to end up burning the candle at both ends, and sacrificing sleep in favour of ticking off a neverending To Do list. In this article Registered Nurse Sue Bedford explains why sleep is so important and offers some tips for a good night’s sleep.   

Why we need sleep

Without sleep our body would be unable to function and most of us know how awful we feel when we have gone without sleep for long periods.  Sleep is the time when our body repairs itself, detoxifies and rejuvenates.  Ideally, we should get about eight hours of sleep each night but some will need more and others will need less, depending on age and health status.

 Tips for a good night’s sleep

1.  Take 20 to 30 minutes of exercise during the day, rather than the evening, such as a brisk walk, housework, or an activity which will increase your heart rate!  Yoga and stretching exercises may also help, particularly if you feel stressed.

2.  Eat your main meal before 7pm.  This allows your digestive system to settle down after working hard to process the food through your stomach.

3.  Avoid smoking or smoky atmospheres as nicotine is a stimulant.  Alcohol is also a stimulant so is best avoided if you want a restful night’s sleep.

4.  Avoid caffeinated products in the evening, such as coffee, tea and chocolate (sorry!).  Caffeine is a stimulant and can affect some people for up to 12 hours.

5.  Plan the following day’s activities in your diary, prepare packed lunches and the clothes you will be wearing so you have less on your mind when you go to bed.

6.  Avoid falling asleep in the early evening in front of the TV.  Get up and do something if you feel sleepy.

7.  Have a regular bedtime routine to prepare your body for sleep.  For example, read or listen to soft music.  Avoid watching stimulating programmes or films containing violence, loud noises or horror.

8.  Avoid bedtime snacks that contain sugar.  If you cannot sleep because you are hungry, choose a snack containing a nutrient called tryptophan which helps your body release the sleep hormones, serotonin and melatonin. This can be found in hazel nuts or peanuts, sesame or sunflower seeds, and bananas and should be consumed no later than an hour before bedtime.  Milk also contains tryptophan so a milky drink may also aid sleep.  Some people find chamomile tea has a relaxing effect at bedtime.

9.  If you feel stressed and find it hard to relax, try relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or progressively squeezing and relaxing your muscles from your feet to your shoulders. Listening to a relaxation CD may also help.

10.  Make sure your room is totally dark, quiet and has adequate ventilation.  If your bed is uncomfortable or over 10 years old, replace your mattress.  Pillows should be soft and not bulky to avoid neck strain and choose bedding appropriate for the time of year to avoid being too hot or too cold.  Electrical devices such as a radio alarm or TV should be moved as far away from your bed as possible because their electromagnetic waves interfere with sleep.

11.  Sleeping tablets prescribed by your doctor should be a last resort and should only be used for a short period as they can be addictive and make matters worse.  Natural ingredients that have been found to aid sleep include Valerian, Passionflower, Lemon Balm, or Hops.  A few drops of Lavender and Chamomile essential oils sprinkled on a pillow may also be helpful.  If you find you toss and turn frequently during the night, you may be low in magnesium so a supplement containing magnesium citrate may help. 

NB. Having recently experienced a period of difficulty sleeping I was kindly sent some Layla Sleepy Oils from Sharon Murphy, founder of Maia Skincare. You apply the oils to your wrists, neck and forehead before bed, and the blend of natural essential oils calm & soothe you ready for sleep. I used the oils every night and the smell of the oils soon became synonomous with sleep for me. Unlike some relaxing oils, which rely heavily on Lavendar, these oils had a lovely, warming aroma, and certainly helped in promoting a really restful sleep. So if you do have trouble sleeping I would definitely recommend you try these. (Sam – Mum’s The Boss)

Sue Bedford is a mum of 4, and runs 2 businesses from home. Pulse Health Screening offers health assessments and a wide range of tests and services in the Beds, Bucks and Herts area, most of which are unavailable in the NHS. Sue also has a diploma course in nutrition and runs a website called Healthy Choices offering nutrition & lifestyle advice along with a range of toxin-free, personal care and household products.

Popularity: 10% [?]

There are more pregnancy and motherhood advice books on the market than you can shake a Clearblue stick at! Most of them are earnest, some of them are finger-wagging, and others seem designed to make you feel guilty every second of the day. This is not one of those books.

Written by Zoe Williams, the Guardian journalist behind the hilarious ‘Anti-natal’ column, Bring It On, Baby is a straight-talking corrective to the sea of advice that engulfs pregnant women and new mums. It considers such issues as the overbearing public guidelines on what not to eat or drink, ‘women shouldn’t be treated like three-year-olds, airily instructed in the way of things with no proper explanation,’ weighs up the relative merits of different childcare routines, ‘It doesn’t make any sodding difference. There are easy babies and difficult babies, and, before you know it, they’re no longer babies,’ and even considers the correct response to the question, ‘Who’s fatter, my sister or me?’

I am often sceptical about books like this as they promise a great deal but fail to deliver – however this had me laughing out loud in the first chapter! It really does shout out loud from the roof tops all the things that a mother (or parent) often thinks, but wouldn’t actually say – unless to a very good friend whilst under the influence.  What I think is most striking though is the balance that Zoe has achieved. She manages to be this angry, accidentally pregnant woman who looks for an argument in every comment and piece of professional advice, but then does some solid research to show up where all the myths are. She is very honest about her lack of any sort of maternal feelings and preparation for being a mother and yet happily and honestly describes her instant and over whelming love for her baby. Despite this love she can still talk candidly about the depths of the lows that parenting brings and the changes you go through and the illogical nature of all things connected to being a mum.

I would be careful about recommending this to a mum-to-be – yes it would save them some heartache and be an honest perspective – but mostly because they simply wouldn’t be able to enjoy how honest it is – and I think it is source of great humour for mums everywhere. 

To celebrate the release of Bring It On, Baby by Zoe Williams, we have 5 copies to give away.

To enter simply answer the following question:

Where does Zoe Williams live?     Hint: Look in the About the Author section in the right hand column

Email your answer with BABY as the subject to info (at) mumstheboss.co.uk. Competition closes at 7pm on Friday 30^th July and winners will be notified by email by Monday 2^nd August.

And if you aren’t lucky enough to win you can get your hands on a copy of the book now at www.guardianbooks.co.uk

Popularity: 26% [?]

MTB groups are all run by busy mums with their own children who know all about the pressures that holidays can bring  – particularly if you are trying to juggle being with the children and keeping on top of things with your business.  

Several of our groups have events planned that enable you to stay in touch over the long break – some where you can bring along your children and some as an evening ‘escape’. It would be lovely to see you at some of these, and for people who haven’t visited a meeting before they are a great way to say hello and make some new contacts – so write them in your diaries!

MTB Bedfordshire

Summer Social Evening – Meal Out
Date: Saturday 14^th August
Time: 7pm
Place: The Asia Lounge, 66 High Street, Bedford MK40 1NT

The Asia Lounge is a mixture of all Asia cuisines and has a vast menu and vegetarian choices. There is also an early dinner choice if we order by 7.30pm for £7.99 per head.  Please email us by Thursday 5^th August to book a place please.

For more information on the event or to book a place please contact Sam and Helen info@mumstheboss.co.uk

MTB Hertfordshire

Summer Social – An evening of style and confidence
Kelly Lundberg award winning personal stylist and author speaking from Divine Wishes on personal styling secrets, how to weed your wardrobe and fashion-faux-pas to fundamental attributes required for being a successful entrepreneur and how to drive passion and self belief.

Date: Tuesday 17th August
Time: 8pm. 
Place: Coach and Horses, Rickmansworth http://www.thecoachandhorses.info/index.php 
Tickets: £15 and must be purchased in advance.  This includes entrance to the event, a glass of champagne on arrival and canapés.

For more details on the event and to purchase tickets please contact Louisa Baker louisa@mumstheboss.co.uk

MTB Warwickshire

Pampered Chef Party
Date: Tuesday 20th July
Time: 7.30pm
Location: Coventry
Host: Charlotte Maytum

Summer Social – Picnic in the Park
Date: Monday 16th August 2010 (Weather Permitting)
Time: 12pm
Place: Coombe Abbey Country Park

Bring the whole family along to Coombe Abbey Country Park on Brinklow Road, Coventry for an afternoon of socialising with other mums in business from around the county. Bring your own packed lunch and join us for a picnic in the park. If the weather forecast looks grim, keep an eye out for a new date!

For more details on either event contact Amanda Farren amanda@mumstheboss.co.uk

Details of all events and meetings can be found on the website http://www.mumstheboss.co.uk/events.htm

Popularity: 10% [?]

Are you looking forward to the summer holidays or dreading them? However you feel you can’t escape that they are now upon us. As we embark on the holidays I’m actually really looking forward to a break from the school run routine – but I know that a week or so in I may be longing for some structure and routine back in our lives!

However this year I will be reminding myself that, come September, my youngest will be starting preschool so I really am on the home straight in terms of reclaiming some me-time. But to help me, I’ve come up with my holiday manifesto – the things I publicly pledge to do over the next 6 weeks, to ensure we ALL have a harmonious and enjoyable holiday.

1. Fill in a weekly planner – so the kids can see visually what we have planned for the week, and whether we have a busy day or a quiet day – and so I can see when I have an evening out planned (for my own sanity!)
2. Plan to have at least 1 friend round to play each week or visit 1 friend at their house (so my house isn’t always the one trashed!)
3. Not get stressed out about the mess & the arguing
4. Sort through kids toys and recycle them or put aside for an autumn car boot
5. Get back into the habit of reading (for pleasure and to crack on with my To Read list)
6. Not get sucked into the hype of kids birthday parties & keep eldest’s party simple & traditional
7. Get outside as much as the weather allows, in the garden or at the park
8. Switch off completely from work when we go away for the week as a family
9. Try not to get stressed when potty training my youngest (this could be tricky!)
10. Let the kids have some late nights in the hope that may result in some lie-ins!
11. Try not to feel guilty (about anything!)
12. ENJOY having the children at home

If you fancy having a go yourself then feel free. And just to make things a bit more fun I’m going to tag a few fellow businessmums and ask them to come up with their lists – in the hope that just thinking about it and writing it down might help make it happen. So over to you: Natalie Lue, Kate Griffiths, Amanda Farren, Naomi Richards and Nicki Cawood - what are your Holiday Manifestos?

Popularity: 10% [?]

This week we are setting you a Daily Challenge – to spend ½ hour every day doing something you enjoy and which relaxes you. 

Schedule it in if you need to and add it to your To Do list. Just make sure you do something that isn’t about the home, the business or your family – just about YOU.

After a week or so, compare how you feel on the days you DO get some me-time and the days when you don’t.

 Andf if you’re so out of the habit that you’re stuck for ideas, here are a few to get you started:

• Sit and have a cuppa in the garden
• Take a Power Nap
• Walk round the block
• Read a chapter of book or magazine
• Take a bath/shower in peace
• Put on a face mask & put your feet up
• Start writing a diary
• Get crafty and do some sewing, knitting, card-making etc
• Give yourself a pedicure
• Buy a favourite Box Set and watch one episode per day

And if you need permission to snatch these 30 minutes every day, tell your family that Sam & Helen told you you must!

Popularity: 8% [?]

For some the Easter holidays are already a week old, but for us it just started. So what are we planning on doing with our 2 weeks? As little as possible verging on nothing at all is the simple answer.

Do I live in the middle of nowhere with no activities, entertainments or places to go? No

Do I have no friends or family? No, quite the opposite

This is a conscious decision. There is in fact so much on offer that I could spend every hour of every day filled with excitement and stimulation. However, now the my 2 young boys at both at school, term times have become incredibly busy and filled with reading, play dates, after school club and swimming lessons.  Whilst I am in favour of the children having these opportunities I am also careful that they don’t do too much.

Children need to relax and have quiet times as much as we do. When the holidays arrive they are really tired, they need some long rambling empty days to recoup, sit and idle, play and let the imagination roam free. I actually think it is healthy to have an element of boredom – they need to learn how to entertain themselves and not be on this conveyabelt of constant stimulation.

I am not a party pooper, and I am sure that we will catch up with friends and have some trips out to the park and other places – but these will be casual and arranged on the day. We are having a holiday – not a tightly scheduled entertainment and occupied fortnight.

What do you think? Is there too much on offer now? Do you enjoy quiet times at home relaxing with the children or are you glad there is so much to do?

Popularity: 4% [?]

I make no secret of the fact – I hate housework. I’m not one of those people whose idea of a treat is to don her marigolds and lose herself in cleaning, polishing and scrubbing (and believe me, I know people like this *shudder*). 

I belong more to the Damage Limitation School of Housework - i.e. trying the keep the kitchen relatively clear, and generally ignoring the state of the floors until the kids are in bed, when I will hoover and tidy their toys away. Then, once every few weeks/months I will go into complete meltdown, scream about what an absolute TIP the house is, and have a complete blitz!

Now I know this is not the most effective way to run a home, but with 2 children under 5, 2 cats and a business to look after, something has got to give – and with me, it’s the housework. Which is why I was so excited to discover Danielle Raine on Twitter, and the fact that she had written a book called Household Blues – A Survival Guide: How to cope with the mental and emotional challenge of keeping a home.

I contacted Danielle, in somewhat of a tizzy, offering to review her book, as I have a good idea it might actually change my life. Not only did she agree to send me a copy, but she has given us 3 more copies to offer as prizes for anyone who signs up for our National Newsletter in the next couple of weeks.

WIN YOUR OWN COPY & BECOME A DOMESTIC GODDESS!!

So if you would like to be in with a chance of winning one of these fabulous books just sign up to our National Newsletter between now and 11th April to be in with a winning chance!

I will post my book review just as soon as I’ve torn open the packaging and devoured it from cover to cover (if I’m not too busy polishing my silver or scrubbing the inside of my oven with a toothbrush, that is!)

Popularity: 11% [?]

Some months ago I was delighted to be asked if one of my poems could be included in an online magazine written by mums for mums, called Mummo Mag, to raise awareness of the Million Mums Campaign. Million Mums is a campaign we have supported for some time now, and was the reason why we were invited to the Downing Tweet Party in December last year.

Founder and creator Jo Rheam explains: “Mummo Magazine is not a parenting magazine. It’s a magazine that celebrates us as mothers and as people in our own right. In the midst of hectic family life, it can be easy to see ourselves as “just” mums, and to lose sight of the women we were, are and want to be.”

Quite apart from my poem on pages 52-53, the magazine is full of great articles as well as lots more information about the Million Mums campaign and how you can register your support. And if you like what you read, you may like to join Jo’s online commuity for mums, Mummo, where their motto is Making Mums Happier!

So, in the midst of your busy working day, why not stick the kettle on and take a well-earned break with your copy of Mummo Mag!

Popularity: 5% [?]

In this guest blog Gabriella Howson, Managing Director of Tonicity Ltd, talks about the importance of exercising your hidden muscles.

As women and mums our children come first. We make time for ourselves, our own health and a little TLC when we can. One thing that medical professionals tell us after we have our babies is to look after our core body and pelvic floor muscles. However that piece of advice is normally one we forget pretty quickly, concentrating more on the parts of us that we can see.

It’s easy to worry about how flat our tummies are, what size clothes we fit into and what we look like - all of that matters and makes a difference – but the muscles that we can’t see are hugely important too and the effects of weak muscles are horrendous. The pelvic floor and core body muscles are among the most important in our body. They control a wide variety of functions including our posture, how we move, how much we enjoy sex and also providing bladder control. Two in three women in the UK have weak pelvic floor muscles, while one in three of us has such weak muscles that we have embarrassing leaks or lower back pain which at the most extreme can lead to a prolapse.

There are exercises you can do to keep yourself in good shape, devices which are designed to help, drugs which can reduce some of the symptoms but generally have side effects or you can have surgery to correct the more extreme conditions. However there are also new alternative treatments which tones these vital muscles and, for the first time, give you feedback on how well you’re doing.

Jeanette Haslam, internationally recognised specialist in women’s physiotherapy, says, “Most pelvic floor conditions are avoidable or even curable but women do not know about options. Pelvic floor training techniques are something that all women need to know about.”

These treatments are available from Tonicity, the first specialised women’s health and beauty centre in the UK. All our treatments are designed to show and improve the condition of your pelvic floor or core body muscles. Tonicity is run by women including a number of highly trained women’s health professionals. All ourr staff are from a nursing or specialist physiotherapy background and have many years experience in helping women get back on their feet and feeling great again.

For more details of the treatments on offer please visit www.tonicity.eu, Tel: 0845 269 2603 or Email: info@tonicitygroup.com

Popularity: 4% [?]

I’m ashamed to admit it has taken me 40 years to have this great idea, but now I have, I thought I would a) share it with you and b) ask your advice. 

This week I borrowed 2 cookery books from my local library. What a fantatsic idea I thought. I can have a proper read through and see if there are any actual recipes in it that I will make. Genius!

I love cooking and I love cookery books and have a fair few on my kitchen shelves. But from each book I have probably tried a dozen or so recipes, and from that dozen maybe 2 or 3 have become favourites that I cook regularly. So I figure this way I can either copy down the 2 or 3 recipes that prove a hit, or if it looks really promising buy the book myself.

So this week I have borrowed The Delia Collection: Soup and Tana Ramsay’s Family Kitchen. At first glance I would say there are maybe 4 or 5 soups I would try from Delia’s book so probably not worth buying, but the Tana Ramsey book has some definite potential.

So my question to you is, which cookery books would you recommend me to borrow from the library next week?

Popularity: 12% [?]

After a post-Christmas weigh-in I find myself with something of a problem. I am the heaviest I have ever been (including being pregnant) and I need to lose weight. Yes I’m a mummy, but this is not Baby Fat. This is Toddler Fat. Let me explain……

Call me a freak, but both times I’ve been pregnant I have lost weight. I spent the first 12 weeks feeling nauseous all the time, thereby losing weight. Then once the sickness had passed my body just seemed to turn all the food I ate into pure baby, leaving me a neat little bump and relatively slim thighs. Therefore, both times after giving birth I actually weighed less than when I had fallen pregnant. Weird.

Breastfeeding seemed to help keep the weight at bay during the early months. I stopped feeding DD1 when she was 9 months and by the time she was 10 months old I was pregnant again. And so the cycle of nausea, weight-loss and baby-growing began again.  DD1 was a very late walker, so when her sister was born I had 2 children who couldn’t walk. As I don’t drive I knew I would need a decent double buggy so I bought a Phil & Ted buggy and hey presto – I suddenly had my very own work-out regime.

I walked miles with that buggy, and as each month went by the weight of my 2 children grew and grew. Often the buggy would also have bags of shopping hanging from it, to add to my cardio-vascular workout. Then, inconveniently, my children decided they wanted to walk everywhere. So I downsized to a single buggy for DD2, but it just wasn’t the same because now I wasn’t hot-footing it down the street pushing 5 stone of child-laden buggy – I was dawdling along at Toddler Pace!

Toddler pace - 1. (noun) the rate of moving (alternating between walking at the rate of a snail or running off as soon as you get near a busy road) which is carried out slowly & distractedly by a young child to the annoyance of their parent;
2. (noun) to travel at a sporadic rate in the following manner: one step forward, two steps backwards – stop to pick up a leaf or a stick – drop bag on floor – sulk or complain – stop to read letters on road signs - put an umbrella up then down, up then down – stop to read house numbers – demand non-existent biscuits – sit down on the pavement in protest - touch people’s cars – stop to stare at complete strangers or dogs - complain of a stone in your shoe - pick up a leaf or stick (repeat as necessary); 
3. (noun) a manner of avoiding walking quickly which, in the extreme, can result in walking backwards from school.  

So, quite frankly, it’s no wonder I’m turning into a whale. The only time I break into a sweat now is when one of my children has a tantrum or openly defies me in public, and I am cringing with embarassment. Added to which they now leave me these delicious little morsels of food (a.k.a. cold fishfingers, half eaten chips etc) on their dinner plates, which are far more tempting than the globules of baby rice or pureed parsnip of days gone by. It’s a question of mathematics dear reader – an increase in consumption coupled with a decrease in activity = 2 stone weight gain.

So now, several years after their births, I find myself needing to lose, not Baby Fat, but Toddler Fat. All this at a time when my cupboards are groaning under the weight of left-over mince pies, selection boxes, bags of peanuts, bottles of Baileys and lumps of Brie. I’ll let you know how I plan to do this is Part 2. Anyone care to join me?

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I find New Year a strange mix of emotions - a time of reflection on the year just ending and the promise and potential of the year to come.  7 years ago I started a little personal tradition of writing myself a letter on New Year’s Eve. I have usually started to think about this in the weeks leading up to New Year, as I open the one from the previous year just after Christmas. I tend to forget over the course of the year what I have written, and it is lovely to open the envelope and rediscover what I had hoped for.  It is a lovely way of reflecting on the different aspects of the year and noting what has happened as hoped for, but also that which hadn’t been expected or planned.

So, what do I write about?  It is usually a mixture of hopes, wishes and goals, which relate to me, my friends and family and my work life. Since I have started doing this there has always been at least 1 and sometimes up to 5 new babies expected in the coming year, and so their safe arrival is something which always features. However on a couple of occasions I get to New Years Eve and we have had new babies born which were not even known about at the time of writing!

I always like to reflect on my personal relationships with those closest to me and think about how they can be maintained or improved. However, sometimes the letter has included a resolution to be stronger and cut ties with relationships which are not so positive.

Since being a mum my working life has been very varied, very eclectic and almost constantly changing so I always tend to give myself at least a general direction, or vague guidance about where I would like to be with regard to work by the end of the following year. For example last year I made the decision that I would stop working in the evenings as it no longer fitted in with family life.

I have found my annual letter a really helpful way for me to deal with some of the bigger and more emotional hurdles.  When I wrote my first letter my mum was terminally ill, so I made a wish about how those last few months would be. The following year I wrote “……and I hope that the pain of losing my mum will not be so raw every day and we all learn, not to forget,  but just miss her less”. More recently mentions of my mum have been to do with how I think she would feel about my life, or how I am going to ensure my children learn about the Gran they never knew.

I also write about the small, the practical and the more mundane things – like repaint the hall, tidy the front garden and remember to put the bins out on the right day! Very often different things can be related to each other - so ‘get a better paid job’ will also help with ‘have a family holiday abroad’ and my ‘not working in the evenings’ also had a positive effect on ‘spend more time with husband’.

The idea of the letter is not to be a list of ‘New Years resolutions’ (which are likely to be forgotten and broken by January!).  It is more a series of reflections and feelings,  a purely personal dialogue, and one which I don’t want to see pinned on a wall or shared with anyone. Many of the things I hope and wish for I have no control over - they either will happen or not. Other times they are things I can control, and if they continue to be important to me then I am likely to achieve them. Sometimes the letter has been a list, sometimes a couple of paragraphs and other years it may be a few pages.  As it is purely private and personal there is no pressure on its appearance or grammatical accuracy…..it is more a stream of consciousness.

So right now I am looking forward to reading last year’s letter to myself to see what I managed to achieve and to see how far I’ve come this year. And on New Years Eve I will be putting down on paper everything I want to improve and would like to achieve in 2010, no doubt accompanied by a nice glass of wine to help my letter writing flow!

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