In this guest blog Gabriella Howson, Managing Director of Tonicity Ltd, talks about the importance of exercising your hidden muscles.

As women and mums our children come first. We make time for ourselves, our own health and a little TLC when we can. One thing that medical professionals tell us after we have our babies is to look after our core body and pelvic floor muscles. However that piece of advice is normally one we forget pretty quickly, concentrating more on the parts of us that we can see.

It’s easy to worry about how flat our tummies are, what size clothes we fit into and what we look like - all of that matters and makes a difference – but the muscles that we can’t see are hugely important too and the effects of weak muscles are horrendous. The pelvic floor and core body muscles are among the most important in our body. They control a wide variety of functions including our posture, how we move, how much we enjoy sex and also providing bladder control. Two in three women in the UK have weak pelvic floor muscles, while one in three of us has such weak muscles that we have embarrassing leaks or lower back pain which at the most extreme can lead to a prolapse.

There are exercises you can do to keep yourself in good shape, devices which are designed to help, drugs which can reduce some of the symptoms but generally have side effects or you can have surgery to correct the more extreme conditions. However there are also new alternative treatments which tones these vital muscles and, for the first time, give you feedback on how well you’re doing.

Jeanette Haslam, internationally recognised specialist in women’s physiotherapy, says, “Most pelvic floor conditions are avoidable or even curable but women do not know about options. Pelvic floor training techniques are something that all women need to know about.”

These treatments are available from Tonicity, the first specialised women’s health and beauty centre in the UK. All our treatments are designed to show and improve the condition of your pelvic floor or core body muscles. Tonicity is run by women including a number of highly trained women’s health professionals. All ourr staff are from a nursing or specialist physiotherapy background and have many years experience in helping women get back on their feet and feeling great again.

For more details of the treatments on offer please visit www.tonicity.eu, Tel: 0845 269 2603 or Email: info@tonicitygroup.com

Popularity: 1% [?]

After a post-Christmas weigh-in I find myself with something of a problem. I am the heaviest I have ever been (including being pregnant) and I need to lose weight. Yes I’m a mummy, but this is not Baby Fat. This is Toddler Fat. Let me explain……

Call me a freak, but both times I’ve been pregnant I have lost weight. I spent the first 12 weeks feeling nauseous all the time, thereby losing weight. Then once the sickness had passed my body just seemed to turn all the food I ate into pure baby, leaving me a neat little bump and relatively slim thighs. Therefore, both times after giving birth I actually weighed less than when I had fallen pregnant. Weird.

Breastfeeding seemed to help keep the weight at bay during the early months. I stopped feeding DD1 when she was 9 months and by the time she was 10 months old I was pregnant again. And so the cycle of nausea, weight-loss and baby-growing began again.  DD1 was a very late walker, so when her sister was born I had 2 children who couldn’t walk. As I don’t drive I knew I would need a decent double buggy so I bought a Phil & Ted buggy and hey presto – I suddenly had my very own work-out regime.

I walked miles with that buggy, and as each month went by the weight of my 2 children grew and grew. Often the buggy would also have bags of shopping hanging from it, to add to my cardio-vascular workout. Then, inconveniently, my children decided they wanted to walk everywhere. So I downsized to a single buggy for DD2, but it just wasn’t the same because now I wasn’t hot-footing it down the street pushing 5 stone of child-laden buggy – I was dawdling along at Toddler Pace!

Toddler pace - 1. (noun) the rate of moving (alternating between walking at the rate of a snail or running off as soon as you get near a busy road) which is carried out slowly & distractedly by a young child to the annoyance of their parent;
2. (noun) to travel at a sporadic rate in the following manner: one step forward, two steps backwards – stop to pick up a leaf or a stick – drop bag on floor – sulk or complain – stop to read letters on road signs - put an umbrella up then down, up then down – stop to read house numbers – demand non-existent biscuits – sit down on the pavement in protest - touch people’s cars – stop to stare at complete strangers or dogs - complain of a stone in your shoe - pick up a leaf or stick (repeat as necessary); 
3. (noun) a manner of avoiding walking quickly which, in the extreme, can result in walking backwards from school.  

So, quite frankly, it’s no wonder I’m turning into a whale. The only time I break into a sweat now is when one of my children has a tantrum or openly defies me in public, and I am cringing with embarassment. Added to which they now leave me these delicious little morsels of food (a.k.a. cold fishfingers, half eaten chips etc) on their dinner plates, which are far more tempting than the globules of baby rice or pureed parsnip of days gone by. It’s a question of mathematics dear reader – an increase in consumption coupled with a decrease in activity = 2 stone weight gain.

So now, several years after their births, I find myself needing to lose, not Baby Fat, but Toddler Fat. All this at a time when my cupboards are groaning under the weight of left-over mince pies, selection boxes, bags of peanuts, bottles of Baileys and lumps of Brie. I’ll let you know how I plan to do this is Part 2. Anyone care to join me?

Popularity: 7% [?]

‘Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen’ (Bobby – age 7).  In an ideal world this would indeed be the case. One of the best  parts of Christmas can be family get togethers, however it can also be the part many of us dread.. There is an over-riding expectation that people who may not often see each other (and may not get on) will come together, eat & drink too much away from the comfort of home, and will all be happy!

By now your family visiting arrangements will have probably already been discussed, debated and decided, so whether you are looking forward with anticipation or trepidation here are a few pointers for a harmonious gathering.

Christmas and family gatherings create quite a long list of jobs to be done, so in fairness to the host, distribute the work load. Ensure that everybody helps, whether they bring prepared food,  help with laying the table, washing up or making cups of tea. Most people are more than happy to help, and even children can be given a role. It means everything gets done quicker and you don’t end up with resentment because somebody has spent all Christmas in the kitchen!

When families come together there is inevitably a large age mix, and that means that different people want different things. Try to establish separate areas of the house where people can be quiet, an area where children can play and be noisy, and a separate TV area. If you have more than 1 TV that is a bonus as there will always be a conflict of opinion of what should be on. Just as you wouldn’t expect your Great Aunt to sit through 8 hours of CBeebies you can’t expect your 3 year old to enjoy carols from Kings followed by Coronation Street! With the current technology of iplayer, recordable DVD and TV nobody needs to miss much, and at the end of the day – it’s only TV!  I remember a particularly frosty Christmas afternoon when my Gran left the table mid way through the Christmas lunch to watch Torville and Dean on Ice (tut tut)!

Just as people need some space for different activities, part of the reason for gathering is to be together and enjoy being part of a family, warts and all! Decide on a few key times when everyone will be together, like a meal time, to watch a family film, play a game or go for a walk in the park. Fresh air is a vital element in keeping the peace. Children in particular need some exercise and space to run off all the excitements and sugar from extra treats and adults are can usually benefit from a walk to counteract all the extra food and drink. Take a football and have an all age’s family game……usually a big hit with the boys of all ages!

And finally, remember why you are together. Christmas is a time of togetherness, and although there may be members of your family you don’t get on with, there is a common bond of family and once a year most differences can be tolerated for a short time. Try to focus on the positives, and spare a thought for those who can’t be with loved ones at this time of year.

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I don’t know about you, but Christmas seems to have become a huge retail opportunity and December seems to have been overtaken by school plays, parties and shopping for endless presents, cards and food.  Plus the hype starts so early these days, with shops & TV adverts advertising Christmas months in advance. Some years you can arrive at the big day itself totally exhausted, and glad it’s almost all over!

So, how can you counteract all this and rekindle the spirit of Christmas? Christmas means different things to different people, so first of all it’s worth just spending a little time reflecting on what makes it special to you, so that you can recapture that which lies at the heart of the celebration.  Start, or reintroduce, some family traditions which will help you ‘signpost’ Christmas and help make the focus not the presents or the shopping, but the things you do with family & friends. Here are some of mine:-

Writing Christmas cards is one of the bigger tasks, but also one I find really enjoyable. There are many different categories of people who I send to – friends, family, colleagues etc, some of whom the annual Christmas card is our only contact of the year. However it is still important as it is a way of staying connected, of letting people know they are in your thoughts, and a chance to let them know all the important things which have happened in your life in the past year.  Rather than avoid this ‘task’ or do it all in one go,  why not pour yourself a drink and aim to do few each night. Think about why you are sending a card to that person and include a special personal message – so much nicer than a mass produced round robin or just your name. The added bonus is a short period of sitting will help you relax in what is a manic month. If you print your address labels this also makes the task shorter and easier.

I love Christmas trees, and decorating a real tree is one of my favourite jobs. Since having the children we have always done this one evening when they are in bed, and part of the excitement is to bring them down the next morning and show them the tree with its lights on in the still dark lounge. We also buy each of our children a new Christmas decoration each year, so they love trying to find the new decoration hidden in the branches. This is an idea I read about a few years ago, and the reasoning is when your children leave home you can present them with a box of decorations to have on their first tree.

Christmas Eve is a really key time for us, and we always go to church to watch the Sunday school nativity. It is something which I have pursuaded my friends to try doing with their families as well. You don’t have to be a church goer, and most churches are welcoming of everybody. It is a lovely way to spend an hour with candles and carols and hearing the story of the first Christmas.

For me Christmas spirit is also about great smells and tastes and an excuse to cook and bake even more than normal! Simply baking some gingerbread cookies, making a pan of mulled wine or warming some mince pies to have with a hot chocolate, all creates lovely rich flavours and aromas which help you feel Christmassy. Lighting a cinnamon spiced candle and putting on a Christmas CD all adds to the atmosphere.

It is very hard when you are so busy to find time just to stop and enjoy and feel, but even if you can find 5 minutes each day to do/smell/think/feel the Christmas Spirit it will make the whole experience more enjoyable and bring back some of the magic that came so naturally when we were children.

Popularity: 8% [?]

Just in case you having one of ‘those’ days when nothing’s going right and you’re wondering why you bother – here’s a little something to let you know you are NOT alone and hopefully bring a little smile to your face!

I’ve got snot on my skirt, and sick on my shirt,
Everything’s covered in kiddie dessert,
I’ve no time to change,
So I’ll just look deranged,
In clothes smeared with baby food,
Thrown from close range.
What I really want now is a sleep or long soak,
But no time, I’ll have to drink coffee and coke,
I’ve lost control, it just is no joke,
Life would be easy if I were a bloke.
I’ve no time to eat, that would be a treat,
A romantic meal an impossible feat.
Real food would be great,
But it’s part of mums’ fate,
To only eat scraps the kids leave on their plate.
Where is the note I wrote to myself?
I’m sure it was there, in that pile on the shelf,
When was the party for Lucy and Fay?
Oh bugger, it happened yesterday,
I’ll have to ring them or send them a note,
If it goes on like this I’ll cut my own throat.
I’ve got so much to do, it makes me feel blue,
And where should I start? I haven’t a clue.
My list is so long,
Where do I go wrong?
I need a plan to move me along.

This poem was taking from Allison Mitchell’s book Time Management for Manic Mums. Allison is a mother of 3 and successful businesswoman, www.mumscoach.com has a masters degree and is an NLP (neuro linguistic programming) Master Practitioner.

Popularity: 9% [?]

A week ago I posted a very flippant comment on Twitter to this effect: “Have developed a bit of a ‘thing’ about brightly coloured clothes since becoming a mum. I’m terrified I’ll disappear completely otherwise…” At the time I thought it was quite amusing but the more I thought about it, I felt like I had scratched the surface of something much deeper, to do with my own identity and how that has changed since I’ve had children.

Before I had children I was just me – Sam. Yes, I was a daughter, a sister and a fiancee too, but essentially I was the centre of my own little world. All that changed when Baby No1 came along, although I managed to cling to a little bit of my identity until Baby No 2 came along 19 months later. Then whatever Sam had been got buried under the nappies, wet wipes and breast pads that defined my new world.

In many ways having children has brought me out of myself. I used to be quite introverted and self conscious – but it’s not just about ME anymore, and that has been quite a welcome release. And on a good day I feel as though as I have become a member of the biggest and best club in the world. But at other times I feel lumped together with every other mum in the world, like we are all just one big maternal blob.

One of the times I started to feel this most was on the school run, particularly on grey, rainy days. Then all the mums seemed to morph into a sea of black, grey or navy coats and umbrellas. So to counter this, last year I bought myself the brightest pink raincoat I could find, with clashing green lining. Normally I wouldn’t dream of buying a coat that colour – coats should be practical and neutral so they go with anything. But it was suddenly really important to me to stand out from that crowd. This year I have bought another winter coat which is brightest turquoise I could find. And as a finishing touch, I have bought a stripy scarf and glove set, made up of every colour of the rainbow, so they will go with whichever of the loud and garish coats I am wearing!

I just don’t know what’s come over me. I’ve never been attention seeking before in my life. But now if I see an item of clothing that is colourful, preferably with colours that clash, I’m drawn to it like a moth to a flame. For the first time in my life I have coloured shoes, rather than just brown or black, an array of coloured handbags, multicoloured beads and more shocking pink in my wardrobe than Barbara Cartland!

And do all these colours help to stop me from disappearing completely? Some days I really think they do………

Popularity: 7% [?]

Halloween has become a massive event in the UK over the last few years, and the shops have been packed for weeks with all sorts of accessories, dressing up gear and decorations. This is all very well, but if you want to celebrate Halloween with your children, once you’ve dressed up, what can you actually DO? Some prefer not to trick or treat, and some may be too young, so what are the alternatives? I have hosted a few parties so here are some ideas to help you along with some Halloween fun with just your own or a room full of children……

1.  Pumpkin Carving – the most traditional of Halloween customs. There is such a variety of pumpkins available you could have a variety competition with different members of the family. I recommend an ice cream scoop as the best way to carve out (save the inners – see idea 4).  An alternative for younger children is to draw faces or use stickers on big tomatoes – equally scary & fun! Or paint paper plates orange and add or cut out features – can double as masks.

2. Spooky Play Dough – young children in particular love play dough and it’s easy to make. Just add black, orange, purple or green food colouring, some glitter and hey presto – you have lots of spooky fun! Homemade play dough is very cheap and simple and keeps for ages if sealed properly.

3. Pin the nose on the Witch – this is easy to make – get the kids to help draw and colour and your witch, then cut out a cardboard nose or use nose stickers and find a blindfold.

4. Feely Boxes– these are great fun – just keep a few cereal or shoe boxes, cut a hole in and fill with something. This can either be yucky and slimy (like the insides of the pumpkin) with objects in which must be retrieved or could be a selection of things that have to felt & guessed. With older children you can have a second hole cut in the back of one of the boxes and then grab the hand that is doing the feeling – a guaranteed screamer!!!

5. Alternative Apple Bobbing – I remember bobbing for apples, not only was it difficult it is also potentially dangerous with younger children, so I have an alternative. Core holes through some apples and thread through a string tied between two chairs – children have to go underneath and try to bite pieces out without using hands – good harmless fun and a sneaky way to get them eating apples – when I played this at my party we got through 10 apples!

6. Treasure Hunts –children love treasure hunts so draw/buy/print out pumpkins, skeletons and other Halloween items and hide them for the children to find. You can give each child a different set to find or make it harder by finding one of each.

7. Skeleton Races – -cut out basic skeleton shapes, skull, arms, legs, ribs etc – then have race to see who can put it together the fastest.

8. Ghoulish Grub – no party is complete without party food so try these:

• Witches eyeballs – marshmallows with a smarty on top
• Spider biscuits – split Oreo biscuits in half, drape liquorice laces across as legs then stick the top back on
• Use a cutter to cut out sandwiches in ghost shapes
• Make bat or pumpkin cookies
• Make a jelly and put rubber eyeballs or jelly worms in

Halloween can be fun and inexpensive, and doesn’t have to involve knocking on doors in the dark. If you have any other suggestions the please let us know.

Popularity: 7% [?]

Now my children are at school we have entered the realm of friends coming to play after school, and usually for tea as well.  So what do you feed them?  You want them to be happy, and to eat, and generally the obvious staple is fish fingers  or chicken nuggets , chips and beans . However I have been trying some alternatives which provide something a little more varied and balanced and will still please my own children who are very fussy eaters.

Here are a couple of quick, easy and tasty ideas:

1.  Traffic light pasta – make plain pasta (and this can have a cheese or tomato sauce with it) but have carrots, sweet corn and peas in it – easy, simple and healthy. Another variation on this is to make treasure hunt pasta – but a variety of veg/meat/cheese etc in bottom of the dish and pile with cooked pasta – get children to ‘dig’ for treasure and see what they can find.

2.  Spaghetti bolognese or carbonara, favourites with most children, are good filling dishes, easy to make and messy and fun to eat!

3.  Naan bread pizzas – I discovered these a couple of years ago – and even better the kids can make their own and they are ready in minutes! Buy some mini naan breads and get the children to spread them with a tomato based sauce and then add whatever they would like – so ham, cheese, chicken, sausage and half cherry tomatoes – simply grill for a couple of minutes and serve.

4.  Wraps or tortillas - I came up with this to try and encourage my own children to join in when we had chilli. Simply cut tortillas into thirds and give to children to stuff their own. Have bowls with chicken, ham, sausage, cheese, tomatoes, cream cheese, grated carrots, sliced peppers, guacamole etc, giving them a great chance to experiment – also messy fun whilst eating as can all be done with fingers

5.  Stuffed pasta - you can now easily buy large pasta shells which if you pre-cook can be stuffed by the children with a selection of the fillings suggested above, or you can make a selection for them to choose from.

6.  Presentation – it’s slightly gimmicky but fun to make ‘normal’ dishes more appealing by presentation. I have just done mashed potato volcanos with beans spilling out and halved sausages up the sides. You could also try  jacket potato pirate boats – scoop out the potato and mash with cheese and re-fill – make a ‘mast’ with slices of bacon or sausage ‘oars’ on cocktail sticks and a ‘sea’ of  gravy with some vegetable islands.

And let’s not forget puddings!

7.  Pancakes – easy to make and again very versatile with fillings – fruit, ice cream and yoghurt are always big favourites….and if you are feeling very creative make your own fruit sauces

8.  Chocolate dip – provide a selection of fruit – strawberries, grapes and bananas are ideal, or shortbread and marshmallows with cocktail sticks for dipping.

9.  Fruit kebabs or fruit salad – allow children to make own and help with the chopping as well – most fruits are easy enough with blunt/plastic knives.

10. Ice-cream – make an old favouite  more exciting with sprinkles, sweets, sauces, grated chocolate, chopped nuts, or some fruit if you’re feeling virtuous!

If you have any ideas for fun food for kids then please leave a comment – the more the merrier!

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I currently find myself  in the enviable position of having both my children at school, and having gone through a period of ‘mourning’ at losing my babies, the day is my own to fill as I wish. When I was a stay at home mum most days had a vague routine of naps and feeds interspersed with activities - staying in, going to groups, visiting friends and fitting in the shopping, washing, cleaning as and when I could. Now my day has a clearly defined structure; 9am – 3pm are child free hours – free from routine and demands, for me to fill as I wish! 

When I was at home full time with the children I was happy to let HH (Helpful Husband) take over the reins as soon as he came in from work.  However, now my ‘babies’ have been gone all day this is my golden time too– hence my 3-6 laptop challenge where I am endeavouring to keep the laptop switched off between 3-6pm.  Having made that pledge I equally don’t want to be filling that time with shopping and cleaning.

So my next challenge is to make everything else fit into school hours. That should be easy – I’ve never had so much time before. However I am someone who can be prone to prevarication, distraction and the most sophisticated of avoidance tactics when I want to. There is a danger that with what appears like so much time it will slip away unproductively and I will still feel like I’ve rushed around all week but not actually achieved what I set out to do.

 To counteract this I have decided to try and set myself a ‘timetable’ so that I remain focused on all the many things I need to do.  I am going to try to have set ‘work hours’ and be more disciplined about what I need to do during that time. However, I also plan to have times when I catch up with home based tasks so that I am not trying to fit it in when the children are home. A third element in all of this is me. I am going to make a concerted effort to ensure that there is time for me to go for a swim, catch up with friends, and ring my Dad without the sound of CBeebies in the background.

I still haven’t decided which is the best way to organise this…..a bit of everything every day….or whole days set aside for the different elements. It will probably be a combination of both as I am not too keen on rigid routine, and there will obviously need to be an element of flexibility.  So mum’s new timetable is still work-in-progress. So help me out. How do you organise your days? Do you have set work/housework days, or set hours for these each day? Or is your schedule chaotic and non-existant? I’d love to hear.

Popularity: 6% [?]

I am shocked and bewildered by an aggressive backlash to the recent Mumpreneur Conference in Birmingham, with delegates being accused of attending a ‘discriminatory’ event. One delegate has even been ‘dumped’ by a contact after discovering she had attended the conference.  So what can have possibly caused the UK Mumpreneurs to be singled out and vilified over what was supposed to be a celebration of achievement?

Is it because we are women? If so does that mean the end of the Women’s Institute, the WRVS, the Girl Guides and every other women only organisation in the world? Is it because we are mums? Perhaps then we should ban Mothering Sunday? If a group of mums running their own businesses is so objectionable, maybe we shouldn’t allow groups of like-minded individuals to meet up at all. No more industry-specific events, political party conferences and definitely no Star Trek Conventions – they discriminate against people who aren’t interested in space travel! And what about Fathers For Justice – do they now have to let Mothers join too?

Running a business around a family presents its own set of unique challenges which are best understood by like-minded business people. This isn’t being exclusive or cliquey – it’s common sense – and I’m quite certain a single-dad responsible for childcare would understand that perfectly.

The question of discrimination has been raised about our group too, presumably because we have the word ‘mum’ in our name and run a creche at our networking meetings. We always reply that we aren’t exclusive (it’s not like we check for stretch-marks as people come in!) but that we are targeting a niche who simply aren’t catered for by other networking groups – or the business world in general.

If you are a business man or woman and are not responsible for childcare, either because you don’t have children, or they are grown up, then the world of business networking is pretty much at your disposal. The thing about us though, is that rather than accuse everyone ELSE of discriminating against US, we have got off our backside and done something about it.

Discrimination is a dangerous word to bandy around and a serious allegation to make, and needs to be based on fact rather than assumption or sour grapes. There is a BIG difference between discrimination and addressing the needs of a niche audience, particularly one that is making a genuine contribution and achieving such great things.

Popularity: 15% [?]