‘Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen’ (Bobby – age 7).  In an ideal world this would indeed be the case. One of the best  parts of Christmas can be family get togethers, however it can also be the part many of us dread.. There is an over-riding expectation that people who may not often see each other (and may not get on) will come together, eat & drink too much away from the comfort of home, and will all be happy!

By now your family visiting arrangements will have probably already been discussed, debated and decided, so whether you are looking forward with anticipation or trepidation here are a few pointers for a harmonious gathering.

Christmas and family gatherings create quite a long list of jobs to be done, so in fairness to the host, distribute the work load. Ensure that everybody helps, whether they bring prepared food,  help with laying the table, washing up or making cups of tea. Most people are more than happy to help, and even children can be given a role. It means everything gets done quicker and you don’t end up with resentment because somebody has spent all Christmas in the kitchen!

When families come together there is inevitably a large age mix, and that means that different people want different things. Try to establish separate areas of the house where people can be quiet, an area where children can play and be noisy, and a separate TV area. If you have more than 1 TV that is a bonus as there will always be a conflict of opinion of what should be on. Just as you wouldn’t expect your Great Aunt to sit through 8 hours of CBeebies you can’t expect your 3 year old to enjoy carols from Kings followed by Coronation Street! With the current technology of iplayer, recordable DVD and TV nobody needs to miss much, and at the end of the day – it’s only TV!  I remember a particularly frosty Christmas afternoon when my Gran left the table mid way through the Christmas lunch to watch Torville and Dean on Ice (tut tut)!

Just as people need some space for different activities, part of the reason for gathering is to be together and enjoy being part of a family, warts and all! Decide on a few key times when everyone will be together, like a meal time, to watch a family film, play a game or go for a walk in the park. Fresh air is a vital element in keeping the peace. Children in particular need some exercise and space to run off all the excitements and sugar from extra treats and adults are can usually benefit from a walk to counteract all the extra food and drink. Take a football and have an all age’s family game……usually a big hit with the boys of all ages!

And finally, remember why you are together. Christmas is a time of togetherness, and although there may be members of your family you don’t get on with, there is a common bond of family and once a year most differences can be tolerated for a short time. Try to focus on the positives, and spare a thought for those who can’t be with loved ones at this time of year.

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I don’t know about you, but Christmas seems to have become a huge retail opportunity and December seems to have been overtaken by school plays, parties and shopping for endless presents, cards and food.  Plus the hype starts so early these days, with shops & TV adverts advertising Christmas months in advance. Some years you can arrive at the big day itself totally exhausted, and glad it’s almost all over!

So, how can you counteract all this and rekindle the spirit of Christmas? Christmas means different things to different people, so first of all it’s worth just spending a little time reflecting on what makes it special to you, so that you can recapture that which lies at the heart of the celebration.  Start, or reintroduce, some family traditions which will help you ‘signpost’ Christmas and help make the focus not the presents or the shopping, but the things you do with family & friends. Here are some of mine:-

Writing Christmas cards is one of the bigger tasks, but also one I find really enjoyable. There are many different categories of people who I send to – friends, family, colleagues etc, some of whom the annual Christmas card is our only contact of the year. However it is still important as it is a way of staying connected, of letting people know they are in your thoughts, and a chance to let them know all the important things which have happened in your life in the past year.  Rather than avoid this ‘task’ or do it all in one go,  why not pour yourself a drink and aim to do few each night. Think about why you are sending a card to that person and include a special personal message – so much nicer than a mass produced round robin or just your name. The added bonus is a short period of sitting will help you relax in what is a manic month. If you print your address labels this also makes the task shorter and easier.

I love Christmas trees, and decorating a real tree is one of my favourite jobs. Since having the children we have always done this one evening when they are in bed, and part of the excitement is to bring them down the next morning and show them the tree with its lights on in the still dark lounge. We also buy each of our children a new Christmas decoration each year, so they love trying to find the new decoration hidden in the branches. This is an idea I read about a few years ago, and the reasoning is when your children leave home you can present them with a box of decorations to have on their first tree.

Christmas Eve is a really key time for us, and we always go to church to watch the Sunday school nativity. It is something which I have pursuaded my friends to try doing with their families as well. You don’t have to be a church goer, and most churches are welcoming of everybody. It is a lovely way to spend an hour with candles and carols and hearing the story of the first Christmas.

For me Christmas spirit is also about great smells and tastes and an excuse to cook and bake even more than normal! Simply baking some gingerbread cookies, making a pan of mulled wine or warming some mince pies to have with a hot chocolate, all creates lovely rich flavours and aromas which help you feel Christmassy. Lighting a cinnamon spiced candle and putting on a Christmas CD all adds to the atmosphere.

It is very hard when you are so busy to find time just to stop and enjoy and feel, but even if you can find 5 minutes each day to do/smell/think/feel the Christmas Spirit it will make the whole experience more enjoyable and bring back some of the magic that came so naturally when we were children.

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Just in case you having one of ‘those’ days when nothing’s going right and you’re wondering why you bother – here’s a little something to let you know you are NOT alone and hopefully bring a little smile to your face!

I’ve got snot on my skirt, and sick on my shirt,
Everything’s covered in kiddie dessert,
I’ve no time to change,
So I’ll just look deranged,
In clothes smeared with baby food,
Thrown from close range.
What I really want now is a sleep or long soak,
But no time, I’ll have to drink coffee and coke,
I’ve lost control, it just is no joke,
Life would be easy if I were a bloke.
I’ve no time to eat, that would be a treat,
A romantic meal an impossible feat.
Real food would be great,
But it’s part of mums’ fate,
To only eat scraps the kids leave on their plate.
Where is the note I wrote to myself?
I’m sure it was there, in that pile on the shelf,
When was the party for Lucy and Fay?
Oh bugger, it happened yesterday,
I’ll have to ring them or send them a note,
If it goes on like this I’ll cut my own throat.
I’ve got so much to do, it makes me feel blue,
And where should I start? I haven’t a clue.
My list is so long,
Where do I go wrong?
I need a plan to move me along.

This poem was taking from Allison Mitchell’s book Time Management for Manic Mums. Allison is a mother of 3 and successful businesswoman, www.mumscoach.com has a masters degree and is an NLP (neuro linguistic programming) Master Practitioner.

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OK people, I need your ideas. I am going to be 40 in just under 3 months and I need suggestions as to how I can celebrate reaching the age ‘at which life begins’.

I have never really celebrated any of my milsetone birthdays – my 21st involved getting drunk with friends at university and my 30th was a meal with family and friends at our local Italian restaurant. I’m not looking for things like sun-drenched holidays or world cruises – I’m looking for magical ways I can mark the occasion without breaking the bank, that I’ll remember forever.

I must confess that I am secretly relishing the idea of growing old disgracefully and cannot wait until I reach my 50th so I can join our local chapter of the Red Hat Society. But until then I need to make the most of my 40s and squeeze everything I can out of them! Sam Thewlis (@samthewlis) and I have already pencilled in a joint Twitter party, as our birthdays are quite close together (although she is much younger than me!) to which you are all cordially invited – wear what you like but please DO bring a bottle!

So please throw some ideas into the hat – the best one gets a slice of birthday cake!

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A week ago I posted a very flippant comment on Twitter to this effect: “Have developed a bit of a ‘thing’ about brightly coloured clothes since becoming a mum. I’m terrified I’ll disappear completely otherwise…” At the time I thought it was quite amusing but the more I thought about it, I felt like I had scratched the surface of something much deeper, to do with my own identity and how that has changed since I’ve had children.

Before I had children I was just me – Sam. Yes, I was a daughter, a sister and a fiancee too, but essentially I was the centre of my own little world. All that changed when Baby No1 came along, although I managed to cling to a little bit of my identity until Baby No 2 came along 19 months later. Then whatever Sam had been got buried under the nappies, wet wipes and breast pads that defined my new world.

In many ways having children has brought me out of myself. I used to be quite introverted and self conscious – but it’s not just about ME anymore, and that has been quite a welcome release. And on a good day I feel as though as I have become a member of the biggest and best club in the world. But at other times I feel lumped together with every other mum in the world, like we are all just one big maternal blob.

One of the times I started to feel this most was on the school run, particularly on grey, rainy days. Then all the mums seemed to morph into a sea of black, grey or navy coats and umbrellas. So to counter this, last year I bought myself the brightest pink raincoat I could find, with clashing green lining. Normally I wouldn’t dream of buying a coat that colour – coats should be practical and neutral so they go with anything. But it was suddenly really important to me to stand out from that crowd. This year I have bought another winter coat which is brightest turquoise I could find. And as a finishing touch, I have bought a stripy scarf and glove set, made up of every colour of the rainbow, so they will go with whichever of the loud and garish coats I am wearing!

I just don’t know what’s come over me. I’ve never been attention seeking before in my life. But now if I see an item of clothing that is colourful, preferably with colours that clash, I’m drawn to it like a moth to a flame. For the first time in my life I have coloured shoes, rather than just brown or black, an array of coloured handbags, multicoloured beads and more shocking pink in my wardrobe than Barbara Cartland!

And do all these colours help to stop me from disappearing completely? Some days I really think they do………

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When was the last time you gave yourself a pat on the back for a job well done? Most of us get so bogged down with what’s still to do on our To Do list that we don’t give ourselves credit for everything we have achieved.

Many of us rely on feedback from a customers or clients to let us know that we’re doing a good job. But it’s just as important to recognise your own achievements as a way of keeping your enthusiasm and motivation levels high.

The type of reward you give yourself will vary according to your tastes, your personality and your business and needn’t cost a lot. If you are the type of person that is strongly motivated by reward it could be something little like treating yourself to a cup of tea and a biscuit after you’ve made that phonecall you’ve been putting off for days, or a long, hot bubblebath as a treat for doing your monthly accounts.

If you provide a service, you could treat yourself to a bottle of wine or a bunch of flowers each time you win a new client. Or if you make handmade products or sell gifts online, maybe you could treat yourself every 10 orders? You could even make yourself your very own reward chart and work towards one really big treat once you’ve ticked off a month’s worth of To Dos!

The treat in itself isn’t important – what’s more important is that you get into the habit of recognising how brilliant you, how far you’ve come and all the amazing things you’ve achieved. If that’s not worth a Mars Bar or a cream cake, then I don’t know what is!

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Halloween has become a massive event in the UK over the last few years, and the shops have been packed for weeks with all sorts of accessories, dressing up gear and decorations. This is all very well, but if you want to celebrate Halloween with your children, once you’ve dressed up, what can you actually DO? Some prefer not to trick or treat, and some may be too young, so what are the alternatives? I have hosted a few parties so here are some ideas to help you along with some Halloween fun with just your own or a room full of children……

1.  Pumpkin Carving – the most traditional of Halloween customs. There is such a variety of pumpkins available you could have a variety competition with different members of the family. I recommend an ice cream scoop as the best way to carve out (save the inners – see idea 4).  An alternative for younger children is to draw faces or use stickers on big tomatoes – equally scary & fun! Or paint paper plates orange and add or cut out features – can double as masks.

2. Spooky Play Dough – young children in particular love play dough and it’s easy to make. Just add black, orange, purple or green food colouring, some glitter and hey presto – you have lots of spooky fun! Homemade play dough is very cheap and simple and keeps for ages if sealed properly.

3. Pin the nose on the Witch – this is easy to make – get the kids to help draw and colour and your witch, then cut out a cardboard nose or use nose stickers and find a blindfold.

4. Feely Boxes– these are great fun – just keep a few cereal or shoe boxes, cut a hole in and fill with something. This can either be yucky and slimy (like the insides of the pumpkin) with objects in which must be retrieved or could be a selection of things that have to felt & guessed. With older children you can have a second hole cut in the back of one of the boxes and then grab the hand that is doing the feeling – a guaranteed screamer!!!

5. Alternative Apple Bobbing – I remember bobbing for apples, not only was it difficult it is also potentially dangerous with younger children, so I have an alternative. Core holes through some apples and thread through a string tied between two chairs – children have to go underneath and try to bite pieces out without using hands – good harmless fun and a sneaky way to get them eating apples – when I played this at my party we got through 10 apples!

6. Treasure Hunts –children love treasure hunts so draw/buy/print out pumpkins, skeletons and other Halloween items and hide them for the children to find. You can give each child a different set to find or make it harder by finding one of each.

7. Skeleton Races – -cut out basic skeleton shapes, skull, arms, legs, ribs etc – then have race to see who can put it together the fastest.

8. Ghoulish Grub – no party is complete without party food so try these:

• Witches eyeballs – marshmallows with a smarty on top
• Spider biscuits – split Oreo biscuits in half, drape liquorice laces across as legs then stick the top back on
• Use a cutter to cut out sandwiches in ghost shapes
• Make bat or pumpkin cookies
• Make a jelly and put rubber eyeballs or jelly worms in

Halloween can be fun and inexpensive, and doesn’t have to involve knocking on doors in the dark. If you have any other suggestions the please let us know.

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Now my children are at school we have entered the realm of friends coming to play after school, and usually for tea as well.  So what do you feed them?  You want them to be happy, and to eat, and generally the obvious staple is fish fingers  or chicken nuggets , chips and beans . However I have been trying some alternatives which provide something a little more varied and balanced and will still please my own children who are very fussy eaters.

Here are a couple of quick, easy and tasty ideas:

1.  Traffic light pasta – make plain pasta (and this can have a cheese or tomato sauce with it) but have carrots, sweet corn and peas in it – easy, simple and healthy. Another variation on this is to make treasure hunt pasta – but a variety of veg/meat/cheese etc in bottom of the dish and pile with cooked pasta – get children to ‘dig’ for treasure and see what they can find.

2.  Spaghetti bolognese or carbonara, favourites with most children, are good filling dishes, easy to make and messy and fun to eat!

3.  Naan bread pizzas – I discovered these a couple of years ago – and even better the kids can make their own and they are ready in minutes! Buy some mini naan breads and get the children to spread them with a tomato based sauce and then add whatever they would like – so ham, cheese, chicken, sausage and half cherry tomatoes – simply grill for a couple of minutes and serve.

4.  Wraps or tortillas - I came up with this to try and encourage my own children to join in when we had chilli. Simply cut tortillas into thirds and give to children to stuff their own. Have bowls with chicken, ham, sausage, cheese, tomatoes, cream cheese, grated carrots, sliced peppers, guacamole etc, giving them a great chance to experiment – also messy fun whilst eating as can all be done with fingers

5.  Stuffed pasta - you can now easily buy large pasta shells which if you pre-cook can be stuffed by the children with a selection of the fillings suggested above, or you can make a selection for them to choose from.

6.  Presentation – it’s slightly gimmicky but fun to make ‘normal’ dishes more appealing by presentation. I have just done mashed potato volcanos with beans spilling out and halved sausages up the sides. You could also try  jacket potato pirate boats – scoop out the potato and mash with cheese and re-fill – make a ‘mast’ with slices of bacon or sausage ‘oars’ on cocktail sticks and a ‘sea’ of  gravy with some vegetable islands.

And let’s not forget puddings!

7.  Pancakes – easy to make and again very versatile with fillings – fruit, ice cream and yoghurt are always big favourites….and if you are feeling very creative make your own fruit sauces

8.  Chocolate dip – provide a selection of fruit – strawberries, grapes and bananas are ideal, or shortbread and marshmallows with cocktail sticks for dipping.

9.  Fruit kebabs or fruit salad – allow children to make own and help with the chopping as well – most fruits are easy enough with blunt/plastic knives.

10. Ice-cream – make an old favouite  more exciting with sprinkles, sweets, sauces, grated chocolate, chopped nuts, or some fruit if you’re feeling virtuous!

If you have any ideas for fun food for kids then please leave a comment – the more the merrier!

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I currently find myself  in the enviable position of having both my children at school, and having gone through a period of ‘mourning’ at losing my babies, the day is my own to fill as I wish. When I was a stay at home mum most days had a vague routine of naps and feeds interspersed with activities - staying in, going to groups, visiting friends and fitting in the shopping, washing, cleaning as and when I could. Now my day has a clearly defined structure; 9am – 3pm are child free hours – free from routine and demands, for me to fill as I wish! 

When I was at home full time with the children I was happy to let HH (Helpful Husband) take over the reins as soon as he came in from work.  However, now my ‘babies’ have been gone all day this is my golden time too– hence my 3-6 laptop challenge where I am endeavouring to keep the laptop switched off between 3-6pm.  Having made that pledge I equally don’t want to be filling that time with shopping and cleaning.

So my next challenge is to make everything else fit into school hours. That should be easy – I’ve never had so much time before. However I am someone who can be prone to prevarication, distraction and the most sophisticated of avoidance tactics when I want to. There is a danger that with what appears like so much time it will slip away unproductively and I will still feel like I’ve rushed around all week but not actually achieved what I set out to do.

 To counteract this I have decided to try and set myself a ‘timetable’ so that I remain focused on all the many things I need to do.  I am going to try to have set ‘work hours’ and be more disciplined about what I need to do during that time. However, I also plan to have times when I catch up with home based tasks so that I am not trying to fit it in when the children are home. A third element in all of this is me. I am going to make a concerted effort to ensure that there is time for me to go for a swim, catch up with friends, and ring my Dad without the sound of CBeebies in the background.

I still haven’t decided which is the best way to organise this…..a bit of everything every day….or whole days set aside for the different elements. It will probably be a combination of both as I am not too keen on rigid routine, and there will obviously need to be an element of flexibility.  So mum’s new timetable is still work-in-progress. So help me out. How do you organise your days? Do you have set work/housework days, or set hours for these each day? Or is your schedule chaotic and non-existant? I’d love to hear.

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I am shocked and bewildered by an aggressive backlash to the recent Mumpreneur Conference in Birmingham, with delegates being accused of attending a ‘discriminatory’ event. One delegate has even been ‘dumped’ by a contact after discovering she had attended the conference.  So what can have possibly caused the UK Mumpreneurs to be singled out and vilified over what was supposed to be a celebration of achievement?

Is it because we are women? If so does that mean the end of the Women’s Institute, the WRVS, the Girl Guides and every other women only organisation in the world? Is it because we are mums? Perhaps then we should ban Mothering Sunday? If a group of mums running their own businesses is so objectionable, maybe we shouldn’t allow groups of like-minded individuals to meet up at all. No more industry-specific events, political party conferences and definitely no Star Trek Conventions – they discriminate against people who aren’t interested in space travel! And what about Fathers For Justice – do they now have to let Mothers join too?

Running a business around a family presents its own set of unique challenges which are best understood by like-minded business people. This isn’t being exclusive or cliquey – it’s common sense – and I’m quite certain a single-dad responsible for childcare would understand that perfectly.

The question of discrimination has been raised about our group too, presumably because we have the word ‘mum’ in our name and run a creche at our networking meetings. We always reply that we aren’t exclusive (it’s not like we check for stretch-marks as people come in!) but that we are targeting a niche who simply aren’t catered for by other networking groups – or the business world in general.

If you are a business man or woman and are not responsible for childcare, either because you don’t have children, or they are grown up, then the world of business networking is pretty much at your disposal. The thing about us though, is that rather than accuse everyone ELSE of discriminating against US, we have got off our backside and done something about it.

Discrimination is a dangerous word to bandy around and a serious allegation to make, and needs to be based on fact rather than assumption or sour grapes. There is a BIG difference between discrimination and addressing the needs of a niche audience, particularly one that is making a genuine contribution and achieving such great things.

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With just a week to go til The Mumpreneur Conference I am getting more and more excited about meeting ‘in the flesh’ so many people I have been tweeting with for months.

I have followed their ups and downs, their struggles and their successes as they have mine. I have learnt from them, been supported by them and on many an occasion, cheered up by them­­­. They have made what I do seem worthwhile. And knowing they are all out there, doing what they do, makes me feel inspired and part of one of the best ‘gangs’ there is!

Sometimes, more than others, it is difficult to value what you do. You lose your confidence, your vision and your enthusiasm. It is precisely at these times that you need your peers – people who understand exactly the challenges you face on a day to day basis, whether they be work or family-related. Locally we are so lucky to have a fantastic network of business mums who meet once a month, to remind each other what a great job we are all doing. Without it, I’m certain some of us might have lost our way.

No man is an island – and neither is a mum. We may try to hold everything together, to do it all and have it all – but we all need a support network to keep us afloat and to catch us when we fall. In an ideal world these are your friends, family and colleagues. But in the fragmented world we live in sometimes that support comes from people we have never met. Until next week that is………

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We can all do with some inspiration when it comes to mealtimes and thinking up new and enticing ways to get our children to try new foods. To that end Waitrose has teamed up with Mumsnet to produce a web TV series, to show how you can have culinary achievements everyday in your kitchen, even though you are a busy working Mum!

The series features chef Neil Nugent and nutritionist Moira Howie. and will cover everything from how to take the stress out of Sunday lunch to bringing back the love for the lost art of baking. You can find out more about the series here http://www.mumsnet.com/microsites/waitrose-web-series

And you can view this weeks Everyday recipe here – looks yummy!!

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Having been inspired by Sam and her no-jeans challenge and her success, I am going to do my own challenge. This one is ‘work based’ rather than ‘me’ based….and contrary to most work challenges involves doing something less, rather than more…..intrigued?

The idea came about last Thursday. It was the first day of term and I knew that my son would be not only desperate to see me but also tired out from a whole day at school after a summer of ‘mummy days!’ So I pledged that I would turn the laptop off at 3 and I would not put it back on again until children were in their ‘post- tea glazed over TV mode’ just prior to Daddy’s golden hour – otherwise known at the bath & bedtime battle in our house!

It was fantastic! I left on time for school pick up which meant I could actually get a parking space, and catch up with the other mummies. My son had my undivided attention, as I wasn’t being distracted by the rectangular screen on the table.  Tea time went very smoothly as for once I wasn’t multi-tasking – just simply cooking & chatting to the children.

By the time I did turn back on for the ‘late shift’ it felt like I had had a proper break away, time to re-arrange my thoughts, and the added bonus of feeling great about being a proper 100% attentive mummy rather than 50% WAHMmy  mummy! And as could easily have been predicted, nothing earth shattering had happened in my 3 hour cyber absence.

With son 2 already part-time at school and soon to be full time I knew I was going to have to readjust how I work and what happens at different times of day. However this has shown me that although they are here less, my time with them can and should definitely be QUALITY rather than quantity.

And so this is my pledge: The laptop will remain OFF between the hours of 3pm and 6pm, and that will be my dedicated children/home/family time every day.  Can I stick to it?  I will keep you posted on my progress.

Do any of you have ‘work rules’ or set hours that are sacred to the children & family? Please share.

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The end of the holidays is finally here….and this coming week sees the start of school for thousands of children across the country . So here are some tips to make their first day at school go smoothly – and to help avoid any tears (for you and your child)!

1.  Be organised. Try and get everything ready the night before, uniform out, book & PE bags loaded and ready, even the packed lunch will be fine in the fridge overnight. Having had weeks of no clock watching and getting ready and out of the house early, the first few mornings are going to be a rush and a shock to the system. It is better to be ready early and enjoy an extra story/cuddle/cartoon than to be rushing out of the house, forgetting things and struggling to find parking space etc.

2. Be upbeat and positive. Children are quick to pick up on parental anxiety, and will be looking for an opportunity to share their own misgivings. Most will be slightly anxious, but also very excited so encourage that and make it seem like the start of a new adventure. Make the most of the fact it is a short week and will soon be the weekend again.

3. Be quick. Try to make the dropping off at school as swift and smooth as possible. DON’T linger, or give the impression that there is room for not going.  It always helps if they know somebody else, so if they have had a visit or know another child in the same class try to let them go in together. Most children will be very excited on their first day (surprisingly it is often a couple of days later the reluctance kicks in) so capitalise on that with a quick kiss and cuddle then leave. If your child is not good at settling they are in great hands – Reception teachers are experts at this!

4. Be prepared. Sunglasses and waterproof mascara are first day essentials if you are prone to ‘weepy mummy’ moments! At least then your children won’t be able to see you eyes fill up…..and you won’t end up looking like a panda on the way home or when you get to work! And if you know you are going to find their first day really hard, get them dressed up in their uniform and take photos the night before to avoid getting even more emotional on the big day.

5. Be positive. Try to be positive about how this change can now give YOU time to explore other opportunities. This may simply be having more time to spend with a younger child or looking at your working options, such as starting or spending more time on your own business.

Good luck to all mums waving their little one’s off for the first time this week – we are both doing the same and know just how you feel!

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I’m sure I can’t be alone in having Paranoid Parenting moments. We are bombared with so much information about what our children should eat, wear, play with, think etc that I often have days when I feel I’m just doing everything wrong! I berate myself for not buying organic food. I chastise myself for letting my children watch too much TV. I worry that we aren’t taking the girls on enough trips out and exposing them to enough new experiences. I worry about whether we are being too strict – or not strict enough! And so the list goes on……

But time and time again, when I’m having a paranoid moment and feeling far from the Perfect Parent, I find myself thinking back to my own childhood and remembering what we did/ate/watched as kids and how my mum dealt with us. And I have to say, it always manages to put my paranoia back into perspective!

I was a child of the 70s (see photo above taken in 1975) when convenience food, particularly frozen food, was the latest thing. We were by no means well off so food was pretty plain.  My mum cooked the same kinds of meals each week – chicken on Sunday, leftovers on Monday, then a variety of things like beefburgers, fishfingers, eggs, mince, crispy pancakes and the like. We rarely ate rice or pasta – potatoes were the staple of each meal because they were cheap and filling. For pudding we had things like jelly or tinned fruit with evaporated milk, Angel Delight or rice pudding. Now compare this to what we are encouraged to feed our children today and the two are in sharp contrast -  not a stirfry or fritatta in sight!  My mum was feeding her family according to the trends of the time and according to her budget. I do not remember vast quantities of fruit  and vegetables in the house, never mind 5 portions each day. However I was still healthy and active and had plenty of energy, and somehow managed never to get scurvy!

In terms of activities and experiences, when I wasn’t at school, I was playing with my sister at home or with friends in the village. We went away on holiday as a family twice while I was at school, both times to Butlins and we certainly weren’t going on weekly day trips to theme parks, adventure playgrounds etc. As we lived in the country we did however go on a lot of walks – but hardly ever did our outings involve spending any money. And without a doubt we had far fewer toys with which to play at home, which I am convinced led to my sister and I being creative and having wild imaginations! But I remember us being very content with what we had and enjoying making up ways to amuse ourselves.

As for TV, I have so many happy memories of watching cartoons and kids programmes – from Mr Ben, The Clangers, Trumpton, Camberwick Green and Bagpuss when I was young, right through to educational programmes like Blue Peter, Why Don’t You and Magpie when I was older.  Admittedly, children’s programmes weren’t available 24/7 as they are today, but believe me, when they were on, my sister and I were watching (and my poor mum was probably breathing a huge sigh of relief!). But my point is, I loved those programmes and still think of them fondly today. And so, while these days we are made to feel that TV is the work of the devil, I hope my girls will look back fondly on the time they spent watching Peppa, Dora and Upsy Daisy!

And so, after a quick journey through my 70s childhood, I am always reminded that there is no such thing as Perfect Parenting. We are all just doing the best we can with the circumstances we are presented and the information that is available to us at the time.  As society’s progress they become better informed but sometimes all that information is bewildering and overwhelming, which is why looking to the past can help put things into perspective. Our mums may not have known all that we know now, but they survived – and so did we!

Have you got any golden memories from your childhood that would be frowned upon in today’s culture of perfect parenting? Or any family traditions that you have passed on to your childen that don’t fit todays ‘5-a-day’ mould? If you have we’d love to hear about them!

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Ever since I became a mum I have practically lived in jeans - jeans and t-shirt in the summer, jeans and jumper in the winter, and on a (rare) night out, jeans with a slightly posher top and some extra lipgloss! In no way do I think I am unique – in fact quite the reverse. Practically every other mum I know lives in her jeans, to such an extent that they have almost become a uniform. They are the easy, ‘no-think’ option for every mum who spends the least amount of time on herself getting ready each morning. Admittedly the heavy duty denim does a good job of holding in the jelly belly but unless you have a really nice, well-fitting pair of jeans, they often don’t do an awful lot else for your figure. So, I’m on a mission to wean myself off the jeans!

Over the summer I have been trying to wear – wait for it – a SKIRT every now and then, and actually it hasn’t been too bad! Putting on an A-line cotton skirt with a t-shirt and some flip flops actually feels like I’ve made an effort! But with the autumn approaching I need a warmer alternative, and to that end I have been out and bought some LEGGINGS! Now I’m no Kate Moss, and like many mums my weight has crept up and up since having my kids. So the thought of leaving the house in something as skin tight as leggings is making me nervous. But, to hell with it, I’m gonna give it a go (albeit with very LONG tops I might add)!

To kickstart my new ‘look’ I am going to go cold turkey and try to go 7 days without wearing my jeans at all. On Monday I will officially start my No Jeans Challenge. Yes, it means I’m going to have to shave my legs and maybe dig out my Magic Knickers for some moral ’support’ but at the end of it I hope I will have learnt to be a bit more creative about what I wear and a little bit braver.

So, ladies – are you wih me?

(Note to self: Challenge will ony work provided I actually leave the house over the next 7 days, otherwise I might just as well stay in my pyjamas!)

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